little miss firecracker

4.1.08

inspiration hides herself in tight spaces. thinking about how to explore the coming months, i have been overcome with a sense of positive bravado -- can't think of a better word for it because, despite some real-world forces that certainly feel like they might be running the show, i feel calm, optimistic and blessed. i suppose i am all those things, relatively speaking, and then some.

there have been so many revolutions and missteps and while i'm certain i could have most likely landed here far more gracefully than i have, i'm here anyway and it's not really one of those chin up, make the best of it sort of scenarios because, truly, i am lucky. and i feel it.

what i have been thinking about is channeling my own success into a more community level, therefore giving me another external motivator to work hard in my business and continue to develop it. the idea of getting involved with microcredit for women entrepreneurs in other parts of the world appeals to me greatly, and i've been researching how i can get involved with it. i love the thought of building my own business in the united states and then passing on the gains to other women in the world that don't have access to the same economic possibilities.

i suppose that what i really love about it is that it is a way for me to take touching someone on a personal, individual level and translate it into an influence on the community of women in the world that really are the planet's workhorses. women are continually treated throughout the world in a manner that would never fly in relationships between races or crowns; but somehow it's still okay to buy and sell women -- perhaps not legally in most places, but ethically, often the pure objectification is not only accepted, it's lauded. i go back and forth between whether or not selling sex is exploiting the seller or the buyer because both have needs that are being preyed upon for profit--generally by an unrelated third party, at that--but that's really neither here nor there, i suppose.

how most women are treated pisses me off, but i'm not the type to sit and bitch so i'm going to do what i can, in any small way, to level the balances. having that external motivation gives me a sense of drive, passion and accountability that takes what has been bothering me professionally--working as a 'solo practitioner'--and turns it into working in an intrinsic interconnectedness. it all of a sudden isn't about me anymore, it's about everyone. the middle child in me loves that shit.