RAMBLINGS,
OBSERVATIONS, AND MISTRANSLATIONS
~JANUARY 5, 1998~
"and i know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, cuz i taste it on your lips....."
feliz año nuevo, y'all. life, as of late, has become a collection of extremely vivid firecrackers whirling through my lickle windsock......so many things, so many things.
bad news out the way first, no? the heavenly beautiful space up on tha hill ended up not working out, for some strange, annoying reason.....so i fear i'm still kicking it here in the cramped confines of the mystic bohemian hut. this is mildly annoying because i am such a space junkie, it hurts, and i haven't enough.....but.....soon come, as my most eloquent lovely lover keeps reminding me.
okay, now to the good news, and some various la-la thoughts to be dealt with.
my new year's eve festivities were grand. simple, uncomplicated, and mixed up with the presence of moonshine, the night went surprisingly well. i spent the seconds with juxtaposition jason and various other co-workers.....we ended up waxin' poetic (is that what they call it these days?) back at the kool krib of paul, kari, lehanna, josh, luke.....and i think someone else (whom i did not meet.) it was a good evening, very good energy.....
as the seconds pass in my life, i feel more and more at home in myself.....and in who i am, where i'm going, etc. last week i made a decision to start singing again, and to get back to my musical roots with a vengeance, as i'd been lollygaggin' around it for the last year or so.....this is very important to me, and i feel positively.....optimistic about the creative opportunities that have become to slip out of the woodwork.....synchronicity never fails to amaze me. if any saucy performances blossom from these potential collaborations, (scheduled ones, as i'm the queen of impromptu meanderings.....) i'll send a shout out to all of you, my sweet nothings, doing nothing eva-sweetly, here in imitation leather/imitation lover.
saturday night, the third, was spent celebrating the birth of the tremendously gifted/talented/hilarious cristien storm, who not only graces us with her performances (check a veronica6 show sometime) but also gives us grrrrls somethin' to fight for in her work with home alive. (by the way, she's scheduled to perform in the speakeasy's backroom this wednesday night, and if any of y'all are in town, please check it out.) the party was in the form of a surprise luau at miss lauren's place, which is bursting to the hilt with art and absolutely one of the most comfortable houses you could ever be in. it was great fun, my usual date with debauchery, a.k.a. derek danger, and i were in peak form, dancing the lambada, making silly conversations for the kids back home, and picking up on transexual after transvestite after drag queen......aaaaaack! wish my ass looked that good! drinking whiskey7's all night long only exacerbated our natural gifts of charm and impeccable wittiness and timing......*wink* .....unfortunately, it seemed as though i was drinking enough to inebriate the entire voting population of colombia (sans ballot-box-stuffers).....but really, all of my drinks were ending up on the floor, as derek danger has a rather nasty habit of gesturing with his hands underneath a person's drink......and he kept poppin' it off onto the floor. that was my excuse, anyway.....
i think what really made that party terribly enlightening were the few solitary seconds i spent on my knees, gazing into the liquid eyes of a rather nasty looking fish.....and pondering the intricacies of the rock formations on the bottom of his tank.....for some wacko reason, there i was, in the middle of a silly-crazy-manic part-ee, whiskey in one hand, my hair in the other, pondering the beauty of those rocks, thinking about their simple pleasure.....and i got this vision of my future small children running nekkid on tha beach of some tropical nation, squealing and laughing with such glee, such absolute innocent love of life.....and i realized in that frenzied second, that if there was any reason in the world to make babies and bring them into the world, it was so that someday, twenty years down the line, my offspring could stare into the fishtank in the middle of a hoe-down and actually understand that the meaning of life is in the details.....and they would relish that detailed moment, with the music blaring, the taste of whiskey on their lips, the feel of youth coursing through their tireless veins.....a friend said to me the other day that it was surprising that i felt so maternal, yet i wouldn't wait until everything was perfect to bring a child into this world.....and while i'm not saying i'm adverse to planning or thinking things out before making a baby, if i waited until the perfect moment, i'd never have babies. my mother says that when you are young you have the energy to take care of babies, but when you're older you have the knowledge, the maturity to actually raise them conscientiously.....but i think that, perhaps, it is a case of 20/20 hindsight, that her growth as an individual has been intrinsically involved with the growth of her children, and that every step she made affected us just as every step we made affected her. i am extremely appreciative of the fact that my mother is young still, mainly because i'll be able to share much of my adult life with her.....and this makes me think that perhaps my biological clock, at twenty-two, is set to go off any day now......aaaaack!
oh, the beauty of a good ramble.
roman, an extremely talented artist, allowed me to meditate to his sketching yesterday. it was so calming, i don't think i've felt that warm since i left my lover's bed for the last time.....way back in october.....he has amazing talent and i can't convey how clearing and simple it is to just watch his pencil create such beauty.....i like his energy as a whole, and he and i are going to, hopefully, get together sometime this week and create something beautiful out of our complimenting vibes. not exactly makin' babies, but something to that effect......
so......the new year. i have so many exciting plans and ideas, i've got my head spinning into salsa after salsa. if you care to share any of your thoughts on the new year, send me a line and fill me in.....you know i always make time for my eva-sweet nothings. til next time, pura vida.....
(p.s.: miss malice is back from south of the border.....soon come, we'll have some mexican stained work from her sexy self, so stay tuned.....)
~JANUARY 9, 1998~
"never was a baritone, 'til you stepped in.....never dried my halters on the line.....this hairdo's truly evil, i'm not sure it's mine.....you're so tall, it's like i climb a waterfall."
days pass.....it's getting colder, colder, colder.....
turn around, frost on the car.....look up, snow slipping from forgotten clouds. around the house i wear a sarong, tied firmly above my breasts, watching the dead of winter spring to life beneath the sparking heat of my eyes.....feels like wasted time.....
i've been subsisting on two, maybe three hours of sleep per night.....i've been erratic, slipping from explosive happiness to desperate loneliness.....feel like, beneath it all, something is inherently wrong.....
keep smelling camellias, keep lighting candles in the middle of the day, keep tripping through the wires of day to day pseudo-revelry.....reminds me of......"clap, kick chant.....anything. do anything to stay awake." that's what i feel like.....like a juggernaut of amazingly frenzied creative energy that i am barely keeping up with.....almost an explosion of firewater starting in my ovaries and slipping softly through my veins.....gracing my elbows, my hips, my eye sockets.....leaving calling cards in my spinal column. so much to do, y'know? and i love every minute of it. i have been learning so much lately.....
*grimace*
i saw the film good will hunting a few days ago.....and it was so wonderful to not only see another van sant (the man is one of my idols) but to see a film written by someone that is a member of a generation that has been shoveled shitload after shitload about being apathetic and jaded, about being a bunch of unmotivated slackers.....to see a film so thoughtful and insightful into the human condition and experience.....so natural.....such a beautiful piece of art, i was impressed and amazed by the mere vision the two authors of the film are blessed with. when there are movies out there like the postman, which i refer to as multi-million-dollar-jack-offs (what is up with costner's egotism? my god.....it's rampant. who keeps giving him money for such drivel?) it's very vindicating and reassuring to see that one of the best films i've seen in a long time was a simple story of someone learning how to love.....anyway, i'm not going to dissect the film, because i think it's one everyone should go see, so please do......and if you care to share your thoughts, you know who loves ya, baby.
in my sleep, in the softer dreams that i care to remember, i've been hovering through the sattelite seconds, reeling in areas that i can't even begin to discuss.....that i can't even begin to break into bite-sized pieces for the general public.....and i've been so fucking emocionante as of late because more than one individual keeps knocking on my secret door, that easily bruised vestibule into my inner sanctum, asking to come in. i feel like one of the three little pigs, holding my straw house together with duct tape from the inside, knowing that it ain't gonna last, but not knowing how to just give in to the wolf with grace and style.....the wolf doesn't give a shit about grace and style, all the wolf wants is the juicy bits.....
juicy bits that give me away, even when i want them to.
~JANUARY 13, 1998~
today is the birthday of my consummate partner in crime: my younger brother, tahini tow the tattle-tale. he is the big phat nineteen today, and that's cool, because now he has plans to make a run fer tha border and get rippin' shitty in vancouver b.c.....land of misinterpreted kisses. y'all know how i am about birthdays, and i was drooling over his silly self at, like, 12:01 a.m. this morning. i think he appreciates my cheesiness. thank god for that, he's prolly the only one who'd fess up. (but you can, too, just......fill mah box. *wink*)
oh, the pleasures of having no shame.
as you may have noticed already, there is a new art piece in the stained in watercoloured wine section. you see, here at bastet75: Da TeMpLe oV iMaGi NaTiOn, we stay true to the visions of miss ~kat~, and that means purveying as much raunch as possible, in an artistic manner, of course. *cough, cough* this is why you would have found me, were you to be searching for me on last saturday night, hunched up and over the scanner at work, ass in the air, painful rail jabbing into my gut, makin' boobie-shots for all of you, my sweet nothings. anything for art, baby. so, there you have a rather intimate pic, albeit manipulated by my rather silly self, of yours truly. and, um, try not to lick the screen, i've heard there's side-affects.
i know all.....um.....three of my sweet nothings out there in the big bad world were curious as to how the hell i ever came up with the title of this site. for all y'all who don't know who bastet is, here you go. this is an explanation as to the origins of my thievery. i'm all about being subtle, and actually named this site after my desire to be duly worshipped for abso-slut-ly no reason whatsoever, but i received this link in the mail today, sent by a fellow mysterious purveyor of.....something.....
this week is gonna be a busy one.....i'm working, working, working, as well as playing, playing, playing, and i'm really trying to learn how to balance the two.....my only prollem is that i suffer from a strange amount of zeal for both, and when i'm doing one, i don't give a shit about the other, and vice-versa. this means that my work-grrlie wants to kick the ass of my play-grrlie, and my play-grrlie has hired a hit-grrlie to take care of my work-grrlie. too much shit to do! i used to have nothing to do! is this what they mean by having a life? i'm exhausted, i'd rather be the loser i was before.
at least i was a rested loser.
~JANUARY 22, 1998~
primero, cariños, we must extend juicy b-day greetings to mi madre.....who is turning the snappin' 46 today. she's a good woman, and we all love her, despite her rather unfortunate penchant for cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.....didn't rub off on any of us kids.....as you would no doubt be able to tell were you to take a gander at the infamous mystic bohemian hut. it's chilling, really.
i have been too busy to breathe......although i took a welcome two days off and spent them with my favorite monstababy, nicholas, the two year old torrent of tittillation. his birthday was on saturday (why am i surrounded by capricorns?!?!?) and he got loads-o'-goodies, although, if proof was in the outstretched hand greeting me at the door, he can always have more. isn't that a two-year-old's favorite word? next to mine, that is. hell, i'm twenty-two and those are still my favorite words.
i'm working on a new addition to the site......a couple of them, actually. malice has finally sent me some goodies, and i'm trying to make the time to add her work......plus create a new section for tha schweetie e/mat, who has graced my eyes with three pieces. on toppa all that, i am working on designing the webpages for miss jr herself, which are going to be part of this wonderful little pseudo-community i've begun to collect here on the 'net. i'm really excited about jr's pages, as the sista's so organized, she handed me hardcopy versions of exact site information, making my job a fuck of a lot easier.....look for it to be up and running sometime by mid-next week, if i can stay on my non-schedule.
oh, droolie news.....i'm off for almost a whole month, as i'll be funning in the sun down in so.cali.....visiting my extra-sweet nothing. i know that all of you, my dear sweet nothings, wish i'd be visiting you, but it's all about getting messy with my lovely, and good intentions pale in comparison. or some such shit. what this means to all none of my sweet nothings is that momma~kat~ isn't gonna be around fer awhile, but i promise you won't miss me a bit. and if you do......well, you know tha drill.
i've been writing a lot of meloncholy crap as of late, and i've been trying to keep it from getting up on the 'net, but i think i'm going to have to put the best of it up. sorry. i'm sure you'll understand. angst: it's not just for breakfast anymore. (that one was for you, grunners.)
okay, done with the crap. i'm still keeping way too busy for my own good, but i figure i'd better ride this lickle creative la-la into the ground. or let it run me. which, actually, is what is happening.
aaaack. this entry sucks! why did i bother?
